Irmo Police Department

09/28/2026

🎁🐕‍🦺 OUR BOY GOT SPOILED. 💙

We have some pretty amazing people who love our K9s almost as much as we do, and K9 Godmothers made sure Venom was VERY well taken care of for his birthday. They sent our favorite handsome little workplace hazard a bag full of presents, and judging by his reaction, they understood the assignment. 😂

Yes, his birthday was a couple weeks ago.
Yes, we are just now posting the video.

Listen. We police better than we social media. 😂

Venom was extremely grateful and demonstrated this using the traditional Belgian Malinois thank-you process:
👃 Sniff it.
💥 Shake it violently.
🦷 Bite it.
🦷 Bite it harder.
🚨 Ignore government-issued human repeatedly saying “VENOM, LEAVE IT.”

Apparently “birthday presents” translates to Malinois as “a bunch of new stuff I have permission to destroy.”

A huge THANK YOU to K9 Godmothers for remembering Venom, absolutely spoiling him, and always showing so much love to our four-legged officers. We truly appreciate you. 💙🐾

Venom would personally say thank you, but he’s currently busy determining which present has the shortest life expectancy. 😂

100% grateful. 100% spoiled. 100% Malinois. 0% chill.

Town of Irmo

09/18/2026

FUR MISSILE FRIDAY: K9 ANDI EDITION 🚀🐕‍🦺

K9 Andi has officially received her trauma kit!!

Venom got one, so naturally Andi needed hers before we ended up explaining K9 workplace favoritism to HR. We believe in equal opportunities for all government-issued Teeth Tornadoes. 🦷🌪 😂

A huge shoutout to Protecting K9 Heroes for once again taking care of our four-legged officers and making sure Andi has lifesaving equipment available if she ever needs it. We are incredibly grateful for organizations that look out for the dogs who look out for us. 💙

We attempted to get a nice photo.

That was adorable of us.

Andi immediately initiated the required Malinois Quality-Control Inspection™, which apparently involves shoving your entire face into the evidence, ignoring your government-issued human, and escalating the situation for absolutely no reason.

⭐ Backpack: ACTING SUSPICIOUS
⭐ Probable cause: IT KNOWS WHAT IT DID
⭐ Investigation method: ENTIRE FACE
⭐ De-escalation plan: ABSOLUTELY NOT

At this point, we have no idea what crime the backpack allegedly committed.

But she knows it did something, and frankly, we’re starting to believe her.

The backpack was detained without incident.*

*That is a lie. There was absolutely an incident. 😂💀🐕‍🦺

Town of Irmo

09/18/2026

September is National Emergency Preparedness Month and we want to be sure you have these important phone number and tips saved so you are prepared! ⛈️🌀🚨

Tips:

-Have a family emergency plan and meeting place.
-Keep water, nonperishable food, medications, flashlights, batteries and a first-aid kit on hand.
-Keep phones and portable chargers charged!
-Know where you will shelter during an emergency or severe storm.
-Never drive through flooded roads or around barricades.
-Include pets and their supplies in your emergency plan.
-Check on elderly, disabled or vulnerable neighbors.
-Follow official sources for weather and emergency updates.

09/16/2026

🚨🚨🚨 EMERGENCY BIRTHDAY BULLETIN 🚨🚨🚨

Fellow Irmese, Irmites and Irmonians: K9 VENOM IS TWO.

REPEAT: THE GOVERNMENT-ISSUED MALLIGATOR HAS ENTERED HIS TERRIBLE TWOS. SECURE YOUR TENNIS BALLS. HIDE YOUR SLEEVES. NOTIFY YOUR NEXT OF KIN. 🐊🦷

We apologize for posting a day late. At approximately 0600 hours yesterday, Venom learned it was his birthday and immediately became drunk with power. He ate the birthday card, suplexed a balloon, challenged the vacuum cleaner to single combat, and tried to arrest the cake for resisting consumption. 🎂

He then stole the phone, deleted the post, opened seventeen investigations into the mailman, ordered a tactical bite suit in hulk-smash size, and somehow promoted himself to Chief.

K9 Andi was located nearby wearing a party hat and shredding documents. When questioned, she claimed she had never met Venom. Venom was standing directly beside her, screaming at a ceiling fan. Her statement remains under investigation.

Venom’s accomplishments at age two include:

🐾 47 teeth, all operating independently
🐾 One speed: felony
🐾 Zero thoughts, only missions
🐾 Can hear a cheese wrapper open three counties away
🐾 Believes every object is either a suspect, a snack, or both
🐾 Has never paid a bill yet behaves like he owns the department
🐾 Requires a government issued human because “tiny domestic terrorist with a badge” looked bad on the paperwork

Happy belated birthday to the Town of Irmo Teeth Tornado, K9 Venom—our beloved screaming land shark, tactical fur goblin, four-legged chainsaw, and reason the department’s insurance representative no longer answers the phone. 💙🐊

Venom, may your third trip around the sun bring unlimited treats, endless belly rubs, and the emotional maturity to stop trying to bite the concept of electricity.

This post has been reviewed by K9 Andi, who added: “I told you people not to give him cake.” 🐾 - She is still shook.

PLEASE REMAIN CALM. THE MALLIGATOR CAN SMELL FEAR. 🎉🚔

09/11/2026

Twenty-five years ago today, our nation experienced a tragedy we will never forget.

On September 11, 2001, 2,977 innocent lives were lost, including 23 NYPD officers, 37 Port Authority Police Department officers and 343 FDNY firefighters who answered the call when their communities needed them most.

Today, the men and women of the Irmo Police Department pause to remember every life lost, every family forever changed and every first responder who ran toward danger to help others.

Their courage reminds us what it means to serve.

We remember. We honor. We will never forget.

09/07/2026

Happy Labor Day from the Irmo Police Department!

Today, we recognize the dedication and hard work of the people who help keep our community strong. Whether you are spending the day relaxing at home, traveling or enjoying time with family and friends, please celebrate safely.

Our officers remain on duty and ready to serve. Have a safe and happy Labor Day, Irmo!

09/03/2026

🚨 TRAFFIC ALERT – FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 🚨
The Irmo Police Department advises motorists of temporary road closures following funeral services for fallen Columbia Police Department Officer Chris DeLong.

Funeral services at Riverland Hills Baptist Church begin at 11:00 a.m., followed by a procession of several hundred vehicles and motorcycles.

Road closures are expected for approximately 30 minutes to 1 hour:

🔹 Broad River Road – Lake Murray Boulevard to I-20
🔹 I-20 – Broad River Road to Clemson Road

Motorists should expect delays and are encouraged to plan ahead and use alternate routes.

Please exercise patience and caution while law enforcement officers assist with traffic control.

Our thoughts and condolences remain with Officer DeLong’s family, friends, colleagues, and the Columbia Police Department, SC.

Major road closures announced ahead of funeral for fallen CPD officer

09/02/2026

🐾🇺🇸 A VERY LOUD THANK YOU TO Protecting K9 Heroes!!! 🐾💥

Protecting K9 Heroes is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to protecting the four-legged chaos goblins—we mean HEROES— who protect us. They provide ballistic vests, emergency Narcan, and lifesaving K9 trauma kits.

They recently hooked up Venom aka Teeth Tornado #1 aka Dennis the Menace aka “SIR, THAT DOES NOT BELONG IN YOUR MOUTH” with a trauma kit. 🦷🌪

Honestly, this was a wise decision. 😂

Venom is 100% Belgian Malinois, 0% chill, and approximately 87% teeth. 🤷‍♂️

While Venom protects Irmo from criminals, squirrels, suspicious vegetation, and whatever else has the audacity to exist, Protecting K9 Heroes is making sure he has the equipment to stay safe.
Thank you for taking care of our favorite dapper gentleman of chaos. 💙🐾

Venom says thank you. 🙏

We think.

He stared into our souls, then immediately found something he wasn't supposed to have. 🍩

So we're counting that as a yes. 😂

Town of Irmo

08/30/2026

Our hearts are heavy and our Irmo officers extend their condolences to the Columbia Police Department, SC as they mourn the loss of Police Officer Chris DeLong.

Our thoughts and prayers are with his family, friends, and fellow officers. His service, bravery and dedication will not be forgotten.