12/26/2025
I Wish You Knew
I wish you knew what it feels like to sit quietly on the bumper of the engine after the call is over, hands shaking just enough that you pretend to adjust your gloves so no one notices.
I wish you knew what goes through my mind when the tones drop at nightāhow my heart races before my feet ever hit the floor, how I already start running scenarios before I even know the address.
I wish you knew what itās like to walk into a home that looks just like yours, family photos on the wall, kidsā shoes by the door, and realize that for them, everything just changed forever.
I wish you knew how heavy silence can be after the fire is out, when the flames are gone but the loss is still standing right in front of you.
I wish you knew what it feels like to hold a hand thatās growing colder and still talk to them anyway, because somewhere deep down you hope they can hear you⦠or maybe you just need to believe they arenāt alone.
I wish you knew the smell that never really leaves, no matter how many showers you take. The kind that shows up later, when youāre home, sitting at the table, trying to eat.
I wish you knew what itās like to laugh in the station after a bad callānot because itās funny, but because if we donāt laugh, something inside us might break.
I wish you knew how hard it is to drive past certain intersections, certain houses, certain stretches of road, and remember exactly where you were standing when someone elseās world fell apart.
I wish you knew the guilt that creeps in on the quiet days⦠wondering if you missed something, if you couldāve moved faster, done more, chosen differently.
I wish you knew what it feels like to walk back through your own front door, hug your family a little tighter, and say āIām fine,ā even when youāre not sure you are.
I wish you knew how much it means when someone simply says āthank youā and really means itābecause some days, thatās what keeps us going.
And I wish you knew the pride. The brotherhood. The unspoken bond that forms when you trust someone with your life and they trust you with theirs.
Because until youāve felt all of thisāthe fear, the heartbreak, the exhaustion, and the purposeāyouāll never fully understand what this job takes from usā¦
or why, despite everything,
we would still answer the call tomorrow.šš„ā¤ļø...!