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Lancaster Monorail

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Lancaster, PA
Lancaster Monorail

The best damn monorail in the City of Lancaster! Comin' in hot, baby!

04/10/2025

We've instituted a 371% tariff on Gap and Kinzers, until they can keep the wh**es out of our city. Monorail trips to and from those towns will be increasing in price at midnight.

12/23/2024

We shot down 6 drones this weekend!

08/15/2024

We're THRILLED that our Binn's Park Station is now back up and operational! We've had a rodent infestation for the last few years but thankfully our municipal government heard our pleas for help and did what they do best...solve problems! Thanks, Lancaster County Government Center! Cars will leave every hour at 12 after the hour to Kinzers and Gap, to meet up with the Lighthouse Line. The full schedule can be found on our Onlyfans site.

02/09/2023

We're hiring a p***c art director! Inquire at Deez.

06/12/2022

Another day, another dollar. Tomorrow we post our Q1 financial results so today we drink.

05/24/2022

We're loving the communication from all our friends Rancho Relaxo and Obscure Simpsons Characters!

05/19/2022

Lots of people are messaging us today about our absence over the last many months. Let's just say we were "tied up" at the swingers resort in Cabo. That's all we'll say except that we're pretty chaffed.

05/18/2022

Someone left a grumpy on the Water St. track so we will be closed for cleaning, sanitizing, and disinfection.

Address

Lancaster Monorail Station
Lancaster, PA
17603

Telephone

+17178675309

Website

facebook.com

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