Neighborhood watch of Mineralwells

07/31/2026

You people need to get your s**t together, you make my job way harder then it should be. Act right you fn clowns.

01/14/2026

If your craving good Mexican you better act fast, ICE is in the area craving Mexican as well, there won’t be any left once they are finished.

08/15/2025

We been receiving multiple complaints about the protestors at the I77-RT14 interchange, i assure you we are monitoring this situation closely and have flown Kyle in, just incase they decided to be stupid, we will put a stop to it quickly and efficiently if necessary.

02/06/2025

01/16/2025

I would like to let everyone know self proclaimed mayor has made it back from his travels safely due to his top notch security team. We will resume watching the neighborhood, If you’re doing things you don’t want us to see you should close your blinds, effective immediately.

11/21/2024

I would like everyone to give a warm welcome to our newest member of the neighborhood watch….MIKE TYSON!! It is a honor to add such an asset to our team.
We have been try to keep this a secret but this guy can’t anywhere without being noticed and people are starting to talk so I thought we should make an official post. As always thank you for your continued support.

11/06/2024

I am honored to announce we have been chosen to protect the self proclaimed mayor of mineralwells as acting secret service.