07/10/2026
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear from parents is:
"If I validate my child's feelings, won't they think their behaviour is okay?"
The answer is no.
Validation and approval are not the same thing.
When you validate a feeling, you're communicating, "I can understand why you feel that way." You're helping your child feel seen and understood.
That doesn't mean you agree with what they did.
You can acknowledge the frustration that led to hitting while still holding the boundary that hitting isn't okay.
In fact, children are often more able to accept limits once they feel understood. When the brain no longer has to fight to be heard, it has more capacity to listen, problem-solve and learn.
Validation isn't about lowering expectations.
It's about creating the emotional safety that makes learning possible.
Have you ever worried that validating your child's feelings meant you were giving in?
