05/30/2026
The Value of the Beginner's Mind in Coaching
An “ex” is a “has been” and a “spurt” is a “drip under pressure.” Ever since I heard someone define an expert in this playful way, I’ve made an effort to avoid being labeled as one. I can honestly say I’ve succeeded in steering clear of that title. However, I wouldn’t claim to be an expert at avoiding it.
Why We Avoid the Label "Marriage Experts"
We have never seen ourselves as “marriage experts,” nor have we ever aspired to be recognized as such. Part of this stems from our experiences, but it is mostly influenced by a philosophy I recently encountered from the monk Shunryu Suzuki: “In the beginner’s mind, there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”
This sentiment resonates deeply with us and shapes how we approach coaching.
Embracing the Beginner's Mind
In our work as life, relationship, and marriage coaches, we find ourselves being beginners every single day. We often work with couples who have been together much longer than we have been coaching them which means, in comparison, we are newcomers. This perspective keeps us open to learning and growth. Oh, the possibilities!
Within the coaching world, possibilities abound. Our primary interest lies in what couples know about themselves, because if anyone is an expert in their relationship, it’s them—not us. Our role is not to instruct couples on what to do. While we sometimes offer direction, we are not strictly consultants. Experts tend to focus on providing answers they had when they walk in the room. Instead, we ask the true experts in the room—our clients—thought-provoking questions that help them look within and reach their own conclusions.
As coaches, we facilitate this process, carefully offering direction. And, since we coach as a couple with aMAYing Impact, the possibilities multiply.
If you believe this approach could benefit you, please feel free to reach out with a private message.
