05/28/2026
I wanted to love this book (who doesn't love a book with a Bundt cake on the front?) - but it was just okay for me.
I'll start by saying that it's a series of interconnected stories about three generations of the Rubenstein family. It starts as 74-year-old Jeanne, is dying. Her older sister, Syliva, brings a delicious apple cake that is a hit among all family members....except for the eldest sister, Helen, who feels the recipe is hers alone to make. The resulting grudge is held throughout the book, as this Jewish family navigates the joys and messiness of every day life.
There have been some great books that are comprised of interconnected stories: Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi, Blackbird House by Alice Hoffman, and Olive Kittredge by Elizabeth Strout to name a few I enjoyed. But for me, the stories in This Is Not About Us didn't move the characters forward enough for me to care about them. The sisters' kids and grandkids face growing up, job loss, divorce, doubt and disillusionment, sibling rivalry and bad weather...just like we all do.
There is a chapter towards the middle of the book about Jamie, the dog walker, and a lost poodle named Sheba. The character of Jamie was developed, but her relationship to the Rubenstein family was not. This chapter distracted me for the remainder of the book as I waited for the connection to be made. And it really wasn't. Jamie had a walk-on part in one of the very last chapters as the family gathers for a religious ceremony. (I may have actually given up on the book, but I HAD to find out who Jamie was.)
I don't mean to discourage you from reading This Is Not About Us. As with all books, had I read this at a different time, I may have loved it. Perhaps I just wasn't in the mood for a book about a petty grudge and a dysfunctional family making their way through life. I just kept thinking about how the book started with a death and wondering how it is that the family could not acknowledge that life is too short to worry about who made the darn cake!
Everyone I've talked to about this book recommended Isola by the same author, so I'll give that a try!
Happy Reading!