When I was a child growing up in the 1970s, what I heard directed against me was by other kids--a gang of them. They would organise together and say: "I'm kickin' your butt after school." Sure enough, they would be waiting for me outside, with balled up fists ready to hurt me. Even then, when my Mom would come and get me, they would be following her. The teachers, who felt defeated, would just say
, "I just let them fight it out." That left me feeling awful, because often she would leave the room unattended to go to the bathroom, or whatever. The nature of threats leveled by kids against other kids is even worse today. As a substitute teacher in an alternative school I've heard comments like, "I'm gonna fire on everyone in this joint after school," etc. They don't expect to be taken seriously, and are surprised when they do get reported. As an education professional, I will report to an adult things I hear like that. For what the events of April 20, 1999, at Columbine High School, have taught me, is that it seriously can happen. Children have the means to do it. And even if they don't, such threats should be deemed inappropriate,and should be dealt with severely by teachers and administrators. Clearly, it's a form of bullying. Indeed, one form of bullying is making threats in any form, whether you can actually carrying them out or not. The purpose is to show that you have the power, and you use that power to intimidate a student (or in some cases, a teacher) that you feel is afraid of you, afraid of losing their jobs, getting into trouble, being badly hurt, or killed, etc. It serves to create a hostile educational environment for the intended target. Yet bullying can take many forms. I have just presented to you the most drastic form thereof. But keep in mind that it can also be mental. It can mean threatening to expose a student's sexual orientation, sexual past, or whatever so as to create public humiliation for that pupil. Kids do not have the right to do that. Moreover, it is especially sinister nowadays with social Internet networks such as Myspace, Facebook and Youtube. The latter of these was recently used to videotape a girl being beat to a natural pulp in Florida. In my estimation those children should be tried as adults and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, forcing them to carry felonies for the rest of their lives. It would send a strong message that such bullying is not to be tolerated. Bullying can also take the form of teasing. You know this guy likes this girl. So you threaten to make him look like a complete loser in front of the girl so as to derive laughs for yourself. And you leave the unfortunate guy in tears. Another aspect of this is spreading gossip about your schoolmates around the building. It could take the form of telling the whole school that you posed nude for the Internet--whether it happens to be true or a lie--and threatening to show them around school. Or could take the form of a smear campaign in the school, handing out fliers that "so-and so is HIV positive." For no reason at all. A very tragic disturbing instance of bullying came to my attention recently. I heard the story of a forty-or-fifty something parent who, angry over this girl's termination of friendship with her daughter, tell the dissed 15-year-old girl under an alias that this world would be better place without her, using Myspace. I tell you that mom should be charged with every felony under the sun for that girl's subsequent suicide. We have identified the problem. The question this paper aims to answer, then is what should we do about it? We as adults should establish strict guidelines. As parents, teachers, and educational paraprofessionals, we should work together to send a strong message to our children that there is zero tolerance of these kinds of carryings-on. We must band together and supervise--both in school and outside of school--the Internet usage of our children. Myspace, Youtube, and other such social networking sites are inappropriate for school aged-children. Second, we as parents and educators must supervise the lyrics of the songs our children listen to, especially this day in age. I am sorry, but "Cop Killa" and any hip-hop tune with "hoe, "b----," or other such tunes are also inappropriate. The reason? It has been proven that you become just like the songs you listen to on a regular basis. If FloRida or T.I tell you--an impressionable teenager-- that taking advantage of women is OK, or that drugs or gangs and what they do is kosher--then the child will grow up believing that, taking on these artists as heroes. The parent should be the hero in the child's life, not the recording artists--especially those who write and perform those kinds of songs. Third, as parents, we should be aware of what friends are being brought over to the house, and what the potential influence that child will have on yours. For instance, if my son were to bring home a young man with baggy pants, sporting all kinds of bling-bling, gang apparel, etc.--I would say, "Not a chance." And I would mean it. I would hope by then that they got it from an early age that Daddy's word is LAW. Parents, you are not to be their best pal. You are to be Mom and Dad. As educators--as I mentioned earlier--there should be zero tolerance for bullying in any form. There should be a massive drive by the principal or his/her designee for children to recognize bullying so they know what is expected of them. This could take the form of workshops, instructional movies, videos, or what have you. But the message must get out: Bullying is wrong, it is dangerous, it is potentially lethal, and will not be tolerated at this school! Additionally, children can get involved, too. They should report all instances of bullying to their teacher, administrators, Mom, and/or Dad. This is important, for if we are to stamp the problem out, we need to encourage them to come forward when they see or hear of a plan to humiliate, torture, or hurt someone else. That way the administrators can take the appropriate measures to deal with it. But how should we do this? Should we demand that they do? But we should make them feel free to do it, that they are not going to be made to feel like a tattle tale if they do. They can be encouraged to do it anonymously, on a Silent Observer kind of basis. One way of doing this would be to set up an anonymous telephone or email line. They need to know that they can trust you not to rat their name out in making that kind of report, which, in turn, could create an atmosphere of unsafety for the victim of the harassment, as well as the one reporting it. By working together, we can massively reduce a problem which threatens to add to the dropout rate, or to the children whose lives are cut short needlessly because of someone who wishes to intimidate others just for kicks. START ADVOCATING AND START ABATING BULLYING!! :)
