The Enlightenment Experience

02/20/2024

Mother and Child Unite
The Tibetans have a wonderful poetic way of describing full enlightenment. Child luminosity unites with Mother luminosity. This is similar to the Vedic tradition of Atman and Brahman being one.

As we begin to experience more deeply the more subtle non-physical Maya Koshas (the layers of our human self) including Anandamayakosha (the Bliss Body), we begin to experience our own natural luminosity, our True Nature beyond form, mind, and body. This is the child luminosity, the last element of our imagined individuality and separation.

When even this pure non-physical or mental energy and luminosity dissolves back into the Source, we awaken fully beyond all illusions of separation, individuality, and identity.

This is mother and child uniting, Atman and Brahman uniting, or as I call it "Coming Home" (a home we have only left in a dream.)

Words and thoughts will always fall far short of describing reality, but some analogies, like this one, are quite beautiful, and, if you let it, can lead you to the experience.

02/15/2024

The Perfect 75th Birthday
Many people asked me today what I was going to do on my 75th birthday. I think I will post what I did as an answer.

First, I responded to the phone calls I received.

Then I realized I should make an evaluation of my life so far. It seemed appropriate for a 75th birthday.

Yesterday, I heard Deepak Chopra say that in his Hindu tradition people go through stages of life. From 55 to 75, our life is based on giving back and preparing the next generations. From 75 to 100, life is based on preparing for death and realizing our True Nature of pure Awareness in Samadhi.

I think I already knew this from reading Siddhartha by Herman Hesse when I was 16. The book had a profound influence on me.

It appears that I am following the program and very well. I may have started the Samadhi part a little early after my Near-Death Experience at age 50, but my life has been focused on giving back and preparing the next generations over the past 25 years. That's what the books, posts, videos, and transmissions are all about. Check. OK.

The preparing for death, Samadhi, and realizing pure Awareness has also been going on for a while, but I can see even more how important it is going forward. Check.

It seems everything has been flowing along perfectly, probably despite any efforts I have made. Looking back over my life, I have made more than a few mistakes, learning valuable lessons from many of them, and I don't have a single regret nor would I have wanted anything to be different in any way from the way it is.

If anything were different, how could I be where I am today?

So, what did I do other than realize this?

I did what I do every day. But I had even more enjoyment and gratitude from it. That's why it is perfect.

I did my normal hour of exercise every morning.
After that, I went up on my roof and did yoga in the beautiful Arizona sun. After yoga, I lay in Savasana (co**se pose) and fully embraced the moment. You might even say I devoured it.

I looked up at the beautiful blue sky. I saw several ravens soaring on the wind currents. I felt a breeze ripple the hairs on my chest. I felt the warmth of the sun. I tasted the moment with my eyes, ears, nose, and skin.

Then I merged with the sky, the sun, the wind, and the birds until there was no illusion of separation.

Could I ask for something more than this?
Would I ask for something more than this?
What could possibly be more than this?

The moment is always perfect.
It's only when we are looking for something else that we miss it. That is the only way it can appear anything but perfect.

People expect me to have some kind of celebration, a party, a gathering, a dinner at a restaurant, a birthday cake. But why would I want to ruin this perfect moment?

I fasted a little longer than usual, 21 hours instead of my usual 16. It was glorious and the perfect amount of time. Then I ate the same wonderful, healthy meal I eat every day. It always tastes perfect. It always seems as if it is the first time I have ever eaten something so wonderful. It's not really the food. It's the moment.

A little later, before I wrote this, I received a birthday call from my ex-wife. What could possibly be better than that? I had not seen her since I was back East in September. We spoke for two hours as if we had just been together an hour ago. Real love never fades. Yes, we still love each other. But our lifestyles are not the same. I'm a monk now, and not even really human, at least not totally.

And now I am writing this. That also is perfect. The whole day had this feeling of absolute perfection. The exercise, the sun, the food, the phone call, and the writing.

How could anything possibly be better than the full presence of this moment, and the wisdom to devour every bit of it while it is still here to taste?

So, that is what I did. And then I settled back into pure, boundless Awareness, which is the source of everything I experienced and the experiencer. At some point, what is experienced and the experiencer will be no more, as it is in Samadhi, which is the perfect preparation for death. This too is part of its wonderful perfection.

I hope that satisfies your curiosity. And perhaps even some learning may occur, like the extraordinary, ordinary beauty of every moment when it is fully experienced. I'm still doing the giving back part. :)

01/08/2024

Joyful Life, Joyful Death
How does awareness experience this life of form?
With absolute awe, joy, and love.
Every single thing is experienced with the same absolute awe, joy, and love.
The feel of cold on the skin of a human body, snow on trees, sunlight, the blue of the sky. It is all absolutely incredible, awesome, and fills Awareness to overflowing with joy and love.

At the same time, all of these absolutely amazing appearances are made entirely by and of Awareness itself.

What could be more perfect?

Awareness is simply aware of itself appearing as all these amazing things, a human body, a room, furniture, sunlight, thoughts, a glass of water.

At some point, Awareness will return to Awareness itself, and no longer be aware of these amazing appearances. We call this death. And, even here, nothing has changed. Awareness still remains as Awareness. With or without appearances, nothing has changed at all.

With appearances (body, world), it is still Awareness simply appearing as the amazing, awesome variety. Without appearances, it is still Awareness, infinite, eternal, undying, unchanging, and yet entirely innocent as if it were just born this very second.

Only the mind has thoughts, preferences, likes and dislikes. Only the mind can take these amazing appearances for granted with either disinterest, rejection, or attachment. That is not the way of Awareness. It is innocent, filled with awe, wonder, love, and joy.

And most of this comes from its very Being. And it always is.

06/30/2023

The reason we don’t sell Truth is because we don’t own Truth. Any truth we own is just more of our delusions and cannot really help anyone, least of all ourselves. If we are aware of Truth, we let Truth speak. Mostly it speaks in Silence as the mind is full of delusions. Occasionally it speaks in words that point back to this Silence although that is rarely ever necessary or successfully received. As Ramana said to a student when asked if he could give him his Silence, “I can give it, but can you receive it.”

06/29/2023

A Day of Silence
Even living in a busy household, you can practice at least a single day of silence each week. If you’ve never done this before, you may think it’s challenging. Once you make up your mind to do it, you’ll find it’s not. It’s probably best to choose a weekend if you work during the week, unless you’re employer is amenable.

You don’t need to force everyone else to be silent. This is for you. Just make sure they know so they don’t try to engage you in conversation or ask questions. In emergencies, you can write on a small pad of paper.

If you want to do this or it seems challenging within your household, I am willing to hold the Zendo open for one day per month. I live in silence almost all the time, but I am not always in the Zendo, but one day a month I can make it available if there is enough interest. I may also offer a Silent Transmission one evening at the Zendo for an hour. It is probably a good way to get your feet wet.

Let me know if you’re interested in this.

07/16/2017

We think as adults that we know what life is, what we are, what our bodies and the world are better than a two year old child does, like the one in this picture. But we're wrong, because we live separated from life, from the world, from our bodies and ourself by our thoughts about these things. The two year old doesn't, at least not nearly as much as we do.

The two year old is more open and free. He experiences the moment more fully. He is far more alive.

The amazing things is we can be fully alive again too. It's not too late for us. We can experience life fully open and fully alive without thoughts getting in the way and limiting our experience of life. When we do this we realize, that even at the age of 70 or 80, we still have the same energy, enthusiasm, awe and vitality we did when we were two years old. We are still just as free, open and alive. No matter how much our thoughts, beliefs, opinions, knowledge and memories of past experiences have beaten us down, tied us up and limited our world and our life, we can regain all of it. We can open to all of it. We can become fully alive again.

exercises, practices and experiments to experience being fully alive again

07/10/2017

Welcome to the Present Moment
My friend Steve says, "The present moment is the least visited place on earth." He's right. None of us can ever be separate from the present moment. But because our full attention is always on our thoughts, we're completely unaware of it.

Even while sleeping, our dreams are made of nothing but thoughts. As soon as we awaken in the morning, we begin our waking dream. "Oh, yes, that was just a dream. This is real. This is my bed. This is my room. And this is me. This is what I need to do today." We go from a sleeping dream to our normal waking dream that we're very familiar with. There's a familiar bed, a familiar room and a familiar me. We don't consider the waking dream a dream. We call it me and my life. We call it reality.

We don't realize that at any moment we can shove a stick into the spokes of this spinning bicycle wheel and bring this entire dream to a screeching halt. Even if we realized this, we probably don't want to do it. It's frightening to give all this familiarity up and enter a world that is always unfamiliar, that is always completely fresh and new and continuously changing, to enter reality.

Welcome to the Present Moment
If we decide to surrender this dream when we wake up in the morning, we become aware of the present moment. This bed is no longer familiar. This room is no longer familiar. I am no longer familiar. Everything is completely fresh and new, vividly alive and changing in every moment. It is so vast, so full, so complete, so continuously changing, there is no way to create a concept about it. Reality, the present moment, outshines all concepts completely.

If we don't immediately try to figure it out and makes sense of it, meaning make a concept out of it, we can rest in this "least visited place on earth". In the midst of this constant change, this ever fresh and newness, this vivid aliveness, there is also a great sense of permanence, of stability. We are, after all, encountering Truth. The longer we remain in this awareness without being triggered back into a thought-world, the more familiar it starts to become, in a very different way then the familiar thought-world, but still familiar, comfortable, comforting, wonderful. It is, after all, Truth, reality.

The Mind is Insatiable
It is always trying to figure out and understand everything. It is never satisfied. It is never fulfilled. It is never content. Because we've led our entire life through the needs of the mind, we have a strong habit energy to continue this pattern. This makes it very difficult for us to ever be aware of the present moment. And, in the chance that we are (such as a profound spiritual awakening), to remain here without reverting back to attempting to create a concept about it.

That takes practice. It is like letting go of an old habit and substituting a new more healthy one. The new habit is being present, which we do by letting go of the thought-world and not immediately creating a new one.

At any moment it is possible to do this. The present moment is always here. Truth is always here. It may be deeply hidden behind our thoughts about it, about the world and who we are. But it is always here. It is always available. All we have to do is let go of this waking dream for just a moment to realize it.

07/10/2017

To be present is to be free of thoughts.
To be free of thoughts is to be present.

07/10/2017

The Bad News and the Good News
The bad news is, although you make think you know what I’m talking about, you don’t. In fact, if you think you do, you most certainly don’t. Truth is a living reality. It cannot be understood with thoughts. Even the most profound, interesting, mind-blowing and enlightening thought is still just a thought. It is not Truth nor can it ever be. I am talking about Truth. No words can ever describe it. No thought can ever capture or understand it. So the bad news is, if you think you understand what I’m talking about, you don’t. And you never will. It’s important to understand this. Then hopefully you will stop trying to understand and simply let go into the experience I’m pointing to.

I’m always interested in observing people going over my words in an attempt to understand them or sometimes to disagree with them as if they understood them. It amazes and tickles me. These are just words. I use them to point to Truth as best I can in each moment. But they are not Truth nor can they ever be. Because they are just words and not Truth, I have no attachment to them at all. They are simply a tool, and not the most effective tool, to point at something that is beyond words: Truth.

The Good News
The good news is you have never been apart from Truth for a single moment at any time in your entire life. You ARE Truth and Truth IS you. But until you can let go of your attachment to thoughts, to knowledge, to beliefs, including and maybe especially your spiritual knowledge and beliefs about Truth, about presence, about God, about enlightenment, you can never experience what Truth, presence, God, enlightenment actually are. It is actually your thoughts, beliefs and knowledge that are keeping you from this direct realization, from True Understanding.

Our Training
When we begin on a spiritual path, we do what we’ve been trained to do in every other area of our life. We learn, we read, we study, we ask questions, we inquire and we seek. This is especially true of those who are intelligent and have been rewarded by society for this intelligence. Many on the spiritual path are like this. I certainly was. Because I had been so successful “figuring things out” in every other area of my life, I assumed that enlightenment would be no different. It took me at least ten years to finally accept that it was very different. It was not a thought, not a concept, not a belief and no knowledge could ever get me there. Instead it was the freedom from all thoughts, all concepts, all beliefs and all knowledge that brought me to the direct experience that everything I had been seeking had always been right here in every single moment. And that’s very good news. That’s wonderful news.

I’m not here to give you more knowledge, more things to believe in, more spiritual thoughts and concepts. There are infinite sources for this. Thanks to the Internet we have access to all our minds desire or can handle. Instead I’m telling you that all of these are not a path to Truth, a path to awakening, but obstacles to it. I’m here to help you let go of these obstacles so you can discover the Truth that is always right here and now, Truth that you have never been, nor could ever be, separate from. You may have heard it said, “You are what you are seeking.” As long as you hold this as a concept or belief, you cannot understand what it is pointing to. If you can just for a moment let go of all thoughts, all concepts, all beliefs, all knowledge, it will be completely clear. And you will be very happy.

It’s Not Easy. And It’s Easy.
Because of our lifetime conditioning to perceive the world and ourselves through thoughts about them, it takes some practice to let this conditioning and attachment go. Every true spiritual experience we’ve had is just this momentary freedom from thoughts. Usually we quickly assemble some thoughts about the experience to explain it to ourselves and others, which is why we’re not still having the experience, why we’re no longer aware of life beyond concepts. But it is possible to extend this freedom, to spend more time before the mind is triggered to understand or make sense of it. There are many simple practices that help us experience life free of concepts. Since the experience of Truth, of awakened consciousness, is not a concept, belief or knowledge, we must experience it directly. The longer we remain free of concepts, without the knee-jerk reaction to return to them, the more comfortable we are in this freedom and the more we realize the great benefits of it. We call this living awake.

07/07/2017

Awakening Is Not An Experience
Experiences, like thoughts and feelings, come and go. They are not permanent. Even the most profound spiritual experience does not last. And, if you are aware, you can clearly see that all experiences are constantly changing even within the experience. This is Truth. And what we awaken into is Truth. We stop living in illusion and live in ever deeper realizations of Truth.

Many people confuse profound spiritual experiences with awakening. They are not the same thing. Spiritual experiences are good. They are teaching us something. All of life is teaching us something. All of life is leading us toward awakening. Spiritual experiences are like opening a crack in a door and peaking in. They show you that life is not what you thought it was. There's a whole lot more that you were completely unaware of. Profound spiritual experiences can be very humbling. They teach you that you don't know anything, that all your knowledge was just illusion. They can lead you toward Truth. They give you the trust coming from direct experience that there is something more. And they give you the motivation to surrender illusion in order to explore this further.

But useful as those experiences are, and they are useful, they are not awakening. They are just pointing towards awakening.

For 40 years I would go on spiritual retreat at least once a year. I almost always had a profound spiritual experience on each retreat. But, not long after the retreat was over, this experience would seem to fade. At first this was very frustrating and I didn't understand why. Eventually I understood that all experiences fade. That is their nature. They are impermanent.

I read every spiritual book I could get my hands on and through many of them a deep resonance and experience would come. But these too did not last. They were impermanent. And I still was not yet awake. But I was heading in that direction.

At some point these experiences lasted longer and longer. But still they were not permanent. No experience is going to be permanent. That is not the nature of experience.

Retreats, meeting with teachers, reading books, meditation, spiritual practices, all of these are useful, all of these are leading toward awakening. But it was not any of these that actually helped me walk through that door rather simply peeking through a crack in it. It was life itself. It was paying attention to what life was and is presenting in each moment, without the interpretation of thoughts, beliefs, spiritual knowledge, past experiences. The retreats, years of daily meditation, teachers, books and spiritual practices helped me to let go and pay attention. The profound spiritual experiences that completely "blew my mind", totally wiped away all previous thoughts, taught me to pay attention from a mind that was open and not knowing. In this way I learned to listen, to see, to pay attention. And in doing so, life taught me what Truth is. It taught me and teaches me in every single moment. That is what it is to live awake, free of the constraints, limitations, distractions and distortions of the thinking mind.

Everything is Impermanent
One of the things you learn when you pay attention is that everything is impermanent. Everything is changing all the time, moment by moment. At the same time, there is something that never changes and is completely unaffected by any of the constant changes. Both constantly changing and never changing at the exact same time. It's not a concept that the mind can wrap itself around and create a concept out of. But Truth is like this. It is beyond concepts. The thing that never changes is not an experience, a thought, a feeling, a body, a spirit, matter, energy or anything else. And yet it is also not separate from any of these things. Again, it's not something the mind is going to be able to understand. Much of what life shows us is like this. It is Truth, but Truth is not something you can create a concept out of and have it remain Truth. Thoughts change Truth into illusion. If you want to experience Truth, you must leave it as it is. Let it show you. Let it reveal itself. It always is.

What About Peace, Love, Contentment, Freedom?
True peace, love, contentment, freedom are not experiences. They are actually the absence of experiences, the absence of illusion.

Peace is the absence of the experience of any conflict, inner or outer. When conflict is no longer experienced, what is left is this great infinite peace. True love is the absence of the experience of separation. When this illusion is gone, what is left is a pervasive unconditional love. Contentment, what we might call happiness, is the absence of feeling need or incompleteness. And freedom is the absence of any type of limitation, boundary or constraint. These are not experiences. They are just the absence of ignorance. When the illusion of a separate self identity is gone, all other illusions crumble and great freedom, peace, love and contentment are what are left. We give this state names and can label them as experiences, but they are not. They are just the absence of illusion.

Spiritual Experiences
Spiritual experiences are wonderful. A crack in the door to Truth is still a crack in the door to Truth. That's not a small thing. But don't be attached to them. Don't hold them as a fond memory of when you were once awake. Yes, it felt wonderful. It aways does. But it's just a crack in the door. Nothing more. Use it as a motivation to keep opening, to keep surrendering, to pay attention on a deeper level, less obstructed by thoughts. Then let it go. More experiences will come. You can be sure of it. Don't cling to the old ones. It will just make it more difficult to notice the new ones that are already happening.

The past is the past. It's not real. It's just a memory. The future is just imagination. Life only happens right here in this moment. Truth only happens right here in this moment. Pay attention. It's all here for you. Nothing has ever been hidden.

07/01/2017

The Way of Truth

Where love is needed,
I am a lover.

Where inspiration is needed,
I am a muse.

Where encouragement is needed,
I am the biggest fan.

Where healing is needed,
I am a healer.

Whatever is truly needed,
I am.

I do not try to do this
or clam any credit.
It naturally and effortlessly
arises.

I ask for nothing in return.
I am already complete.

If some need should arise
or is unconscious,
it too is naturally and effortlessly met.

This is the way of life.
This is the way of Truth.

07/01/2017

What Awakening Means
To simplify: Awakening means freedom from a limited separate self, self identity. That's all it means. It has nothing to do with experiences, spiritual or otherwise. It has nothing to do with theories. I hope this helps dispel some of the confusion that seems to surround this.

For people whom this has yet to happen, many definitions of awakening are created in order to include whatever state of attachment they are in. This evidently creates a lot of confusion and complexity around what is extremely simple and obvious.

Truth is always simple. When you encounter complexity, it is the just the mind chasing around trying to understand what it cannot or refuses to.

For example, to the mind it is difficult, even seemingly impossible and maybe inadvisable to let go of self-identification. The simple truth is it's just a matter of letting go. Nothing more than that. :)

Know that whenever we surrender completely, Truth always remains. It is only illusion that falls away. It's okay to let go. It's advisable. :)