01/19/2026
“I Was Embarrassed to Say I Was a Christian…”
Romans 1:16:
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth, to the Jew first, and also to the Greek.”
For a long time, I was embarrassed to say I was a Christian.
Not because I didn’t love Jesus, but because I was terrified of what people would think of me.
I came out of an ugly past filled with gang violence, trauma, fear, anger, and scars I tried to hide.
People knew that version of me.
The violent me.
The broken me.
The hardened me.
So when Christ saved me, I didn’t know how to stand in public and say, “I believe in Jesus now.”
I felt like people would laugh, judge, or accuse me of faking it.
I didn’t want to be labeled.
I didn’t want people to say, “Look at this guy pretending to be holy.”
And if I’m being honest, they did all of those things.
I also didn’t feel spiritually educated enough to defend my faith when challenged.
It led me to stay quiet, even though staying quiet made me feel like a fraud.
Eventually, God showed me something I really needed to face.
My silence was not humility. It was fear. I was still chasing validation.
I wanted to look wise.
I wanted to sound put together.
I wanted to seem knowledgeable.
But God didn’t save me because I was qualified.
He saved me because I wasn’t.
And Romans 1:16 reminded me that I do not have to be ashamed of the gospel, not because I am impressive, but because the gospel itself carries power.
It is not my skill or intelligence that makes the message strong.
It is Jesus and Him alone.
Once I understood that, everything changed.
Instead of trying to preach like a scholar, I started doing something much simpler.
I shared my testimony.
I shared what Jesus did for me.
I shared how He pulled me out of the life I thought would destroy me.
I also started listening more than I spoke.
I listened to people’s stories.
I listened to their fears, doubts, pain, and trauma.
I listened long enough to understand their heart posture instead of judging their behavior.
I learned that I have to invite people into the conversation, not impose my views on them.
And that opened more doors than any sermon I could have preached.
I no longer tried to force Jesus onto people.
I did not try to prove I was spiritual.
I did not try to win arguments.
I simply shared what God did for me and listened to what was going on inside of them.
That is when I realized something huge.
I am not called to love people as if I am their Savior. I am called to love them toward the Savior.
I am not their God.
I am not their healer.
I am not their solution.
My job is not to fix them.
My job is to walk with them.
My job is to point them toward Christ through authenticity, not performance.
And once I embraced that, I stopped being ashamed.
I stopped being afraid.
I stopped feeling unqualified.
Because God already qualified me the moment He saved me.
If you are scared to speak up about your faith, if you feel unworthy because of your past, or if you feel too uneducated to talk about God, remember this:
You do not need to be perfect for God to use you. You just need to be willing. Your testimony is enough. Your honesty is enough. Your story is enough. God does the rest.
Prayer
Father, thank You for saving me out of a broken and violent past. Thank You for reminding me that I do not need to be perfect to speak about You. Help others share their testimonies with humility, boldness, and love as You did with me. Teach them to listen deeply, understand others sincerely, and point people toward Christ with authenticity. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
If these Daily Devotions have been encouraging you and you want to spend more time in the Word, I want to personally invite you to join me live.
I host a Zoom Bible Class every Saturday morning at 10 AM PST, where we slow down, dig deeper, and grow together. If you’d like to try it out, you can start with a free 7-day trial and join us tomorrow morning.
You can get started here:
https://coreoftheheart.com
For step-by-step sign-up instructions, click here:
https://gray-dosa-37b.notion.site/How-to-Sign-Up-Weekly-Deep-Dive-Bible-Class-1734380db0c38088bb65db184248069c?source=copy_link
Blessings,
Johnny Chang
PS. Feel free to reply and share what's on your heart or reply with a topic request!
I try to read as many responses as I can every day.
