10/15/2023
‼️Lesson 14: The Art of Co-Parenting‼️
Relationships begin and end all the time. Whether you’re single or married, raising children is no small feat. Let’s run through a few scenarios.
1. Boy meets girl, they fall in love, and they get married. Sadly, one of them unexpectedly died and left the other to finish their journey alone.
2. Boy meets girl, they’re attracted to one another, they hang out, they have s*x, they try cultivating a relationship from said s*x, but it doesn’t work out.
3. Boy meets boy, they love each other, they are in a long-term relationship, then decide to get married, they encounter problems, then go through a bitter divorce.
4. Girl meets meets girl, the connection between them is the best either of them have ever had, they decide marriage isn’t for them, but they’re committed to each other. But then, one of the girls falls in love with someone else, and the relationship ends.
5. Human meets human, they’re crazy about each other, they feel like they’re soul mates, they plan to spend the rest of their lives together, they choose not to let anyone or anything come between them. They’re the best of lovers and friends. Although their relationship didn’t work, their bond is still intact. They move on with other people, but they still love each other and respect each other.
The people in these relationships all have one thing in common. They’re all parents, and all of their relationships ended. Now, what happens to the children? As a parent, I’ve been single, married, and divorced. I’ve learned that there’s an art to co-parenting. The principle isn’t hard. It’s so simple. LOVE. RESPECT. FORGIVENESS.
What children need to see is a respectful and healthy relationship between their parents. As parents, we need to figure out our s**t out so we won’t put our s**t on our kids. You don’t need to figure your s**t out in front of the kids. That needs to be done between parents in a setting outside of the presence of the child.
😡He cheated on you, I know.
😡She lied and used you, I know.
😡He walked out on the family, I know.
😡She slept with your best friend, I know.
😤He has a new woman, and she doesn’t like you, I know.
😤She has a new husband, and you don’t want him raising your kids, I know.
👀BUT, be an adult and work it out! Co-parenting is still about relationships. It’s a partnership just like any marriage. You’re redefining the relationship with your partner. Yes, I said partner because the person you decided to have a child with is still your family…duh! 🙄It’s just that the terms of the relationship have changed, but trying to be a great parent has not. Think about the well-being of your kids! You’re hurting your kids more than you’re hurting your partner when you’re being spiteful to your partner; When you say hateful things about your partner in front of your kids; When you don’t come around because you refuse to speak to your partner; When you purposely try to keep the kids away from their other parent; When you fail to show up for your child because you’re mad at your partner. The list goes on and on. Please! Enough is enough. It has to stop somewhere. We all have problems, but work it out. It doesn’t matter what the status of your relationship is or what your s*xual orientation is, or how you identify. The point is, you decided to have children, and now you must work together to raise and take care of those children in a healthy environment. Being a great co-parent comes naturally for some, but not so much for others. Either way, it takes work and commitment to your children, to your partner, to your family. Go to a family therapist if you need to. Do whatever you need to do to figure it out. One day, your children will grow up. You want them to be emotionally healthy and whole, not broken.
If it’s anything outside of verbal, s*xual, and physical abuse, or psychotic, crazy, stalker-ish behavior, it can be worked out. ⚠️ Disclaimer: Don’t allow abusers and crazy people to have access to your children even if they are the parent. Just no! They will do more harm than good.
