Wonton Heavy Industries LLC

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Wonton Heavy Industries LLC

Don't stop at the spicket for too long. Don't bitch on rides. Stomp dicks. Beer and Wontons. Got it?

06/10/2023

Never thought we’d see this at a Little League picnic for 7/8 yos

08/25/2015

We have just been notified by the legal team that WHI LLC has survived yet another class action lawsuit regarding flattened members. As a result, IPA dividends will be paid out immediately following MaMo and the Mt. Fowling hill climb at the flatland HQ, aka The Shack.

Course cutters need not attend.

07/13/2015

Final reminder. We've clogged up the page with this nonsense enough already the last 2 weeks. Today is the day. No exceptions, no whining.

https://teamorder.serviziocorse.com/index.aspx?pc=CBE904BA-0A71-4402-8C81-7EAA57AFF7CE

07/11/2015

Keeping it simple with this one.

Order window will close Monday. On the V1.0 kit order, we got a lot of emails after it closed with mea culpas and asking "how can I get one?" Answer: YOU CAN'T.

Once we close the order, the elves at Castelli get hard to work and 6-8 weeks later, we all get little presents in the mail. These are custom, made to order. There are no extras, no second chances. So if you want your kit, don't procrastinate. You are likely to forget and if you do, you'll be out of luck. That is all.

Order link: https://teamorder.serviziocorse.com/index.aspx?pc=CBE904BA-0A71-4402-8C81-7EAA57AFF7CE

07/07/2015

Order link: https://teamorder.serviziocorse.com/index.aspx?pc=CBE904BA-0A71-4402-8C81-7EAA57AFF7CE

You're a climber that doesn't break a sweat until its a 10% grade.

You're a tri-dork that needs to make Zone 3 a little more enjoyable.

You're a cyclocross guy and you need to compensate for your beard's drag.

You're a trackie that needs to shave fractions off your kilo.

You're a sprinter who needs your 10 seconds of actual work to be less painful.

You're a breakaway artist who needs a little help convincing the pack they don't need to worry about you until it's too late.

You're a life-long wheel sucker who will give up your first-born child in exchange for one more Strava badge.

You're a coffee rider that spends more time sipping lattés than pushing pedals.

You're kind of a big deal locally but you've already worn through the 2 free kits that your semi-pro team so generously provided at the start of the year.

You're a fondo rider that's just signed up for another 200 mile death ride.

You're a casual rider who still has trouble clipping in but your local club's Fred kit just isn't cutting it.

You're unsure what the hell Wonton Heavy Industries even is. It's OK, no one actually knows.

Just buy it.

https://teamorder.serviziocorse.com/index.aspx?pc=CBE904BA-0A71-4402-8C81-7EAA57AFF7CE

07/02/2015

WHI 2.0 Kit Release

Yeah, it's pink. So what. You know you want it. Everyone loves pink. And look at the wonton. He’s all angry and s**t. It’s beautiful. You should probably buy two. And arm warmers. Get some of those too. Not to keep warm, but because they say “SHAME.ON.YOU.” All big up the side.

This is a one time release. Seriously. Don’t message us later saying that *now* you really want one. It’ll be too late and you’ll have to settle for some other sad ass kit that won’t give you any extra DSUs.

Stomp Dicks
Don’t Bitch
or G**O

Legal Disclaimer: WHI 2.0 kit is not approved for triathlon use.

Here is the order link:

https://teamorder.serviziocorse.com/index.aspx?pc=CBE904BA-0A71-4402-8C81-7EAA57AFF7CE

ORDERS MUST BE PLACED BY JULY 13. NO EXCEPTIONS!

06/29/2015

INVADERS MUST DIE

06/25/2015

Obama is a fan of Wonton. Will we be seeing him in the WHI 2.0 kit, soon to be available direct from our partners at Castelli? We'll see! Order link will be available soon. Shame on you if you miss out.

04/30/2015

Oh snap.

04/22/2015

Was the WHI V2.0 kit unveiled on April 1st a cruel April Fool's joke or something you will be able to soon purchase with Woncoin™? We will end the suspense shortly. Or not. In the meantime, these water bottles ARE real and a limited quantity are available for immediate delivery at the high, high price of $8. Act now. Or not.

04/02/2015

It took the kids in the sweatshop a lot of hard work to get this ready for April 1. WHI kit 2.0

03/05/2015

Tired of Tuesday night Las Flores repeats?

So are we.

Thankfully, Tuesday March 8th marks the end of the brutal SoCal winter cycling season with the glorious return of MaMo. Come join all the other local wheel suckers, lap cutters, OTBs, swole sprinters, burly diesels, bitchy wankers, scrawny climbers, track dorks, and coffee cruisers for the "toughest ride on the westside". Double up on your NPR Tuesday's for bonus DSUs.

Roll out: 6pm at the fire station on Westchester parkway. Warmup laps or go drill some hill repeats on Manchester until the hot laps get going.

Imaginary sprint primes each lap awarded to the first past the green overpass sign at the east end, or fight your way to the pointy end on the brutal westbound laps for no good reason.

Be sure to thank Virgil for his hard work in keeping this monster rolling.

Address

34. 083925,/118. 599368
Topanga, CA
90290

Website

http://mfwonton.com/

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