07/01/2026
💥 If your last words before lighting a firework are, "Watch this..." you're probably about to meet your local firefighters.
This Fourth of July, don't channel your inner Joe Dirt. Remember, if you find yourself saying, "I wonder what this one does..." while holding a firework... you've already made a poor decision.
If you’re planning to launch some black cats, roman candles, screaming mimis, lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity-do-das, crap flappers, whistlin’ bungholes, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, h***y lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers (with or without the scooter stick), or whistlin’ kitty chasers at home… PLEASE follow the rules.
🎆 A few tips to keep all your fingers (and eyebrows):
🔥 Never hold fireworks in your hand while lighting them.
🧒 Keep children and pets a safe distance away.
💧 Have a bucket of water or a garden hose ready before you light anything.
🚫 Don't mix alcohol and fireworks—they're a combination firefighters see far too often.
💥 If a firework doesn't go off, don't walk up and inspect it. Wait, then soak it with water before throwing it away.
🗑️ Never throw used fireworks, duds, or hot remnants directly into a trash can. Soak them thoroughly in water first, then dispose of them. Every year, trash cans, pickup trucks and their beds, garbage trucks, and even homes catch fire because fireworks looked "out" but were still hot enough to ignite.
Let's keep the only things lighting up the night sky to be the fireworks—not your garage, your field, your trash can, house, or your neighbor's fence.
Have fun, celebrate responsibly, and help us enjoy an incident-free holiday. We'd much rather wave as we drive by than meet you in the back of an ambulance.
🇺🇸 Happy Independence Day from your Union Volunteer Fire Department! Stay safe!