06/06/2026
5 SIGNS A VETERAN IS STRUGGLING
A Guide for Families, Friends, and Communities
Because awareness saves lives.
Our veterans have carried the weight of service so the rest of us don't have to. But the transition back to civilian life and the invisible wounds of combat, trauma, and loss can quietly overwhelm even the strongest among us. Knowing what to look for is the first step in saving a life.
The five signs below are not weaknesses. These signals are distress flares from someone who may not yet have the words to ask for help, for their military training teaches them to push forward. If you see these signs in a veteran you love, lean in. Don't look away.
SIGN 1
Withdrawal and Social Isolation
One of the most common and overlooked signs of struggle is when a veteran begins pulling away from the people and activities they once valued. This is not simply introversion, it is a retreat from life itself.
Warning signs to watch for:
- Stops attending family gatherings, church, or community events
- Avoids phone calls, texts, or social media contact
- Quits hobbies, sports, or activities they previously enjoyed
- Spends long stretches of time alone with little explanation
Many veterans feel that civilians cannot understand their experience. Over time, this perceived gap can deepen into a painful silence. Withdrawal is often the first visible symptom of depression, PTSD, or moral injury, the deep wounds that come from actions witnessed or taken in war.
SIGN 2
Sudden or Extreme Changes in Mood and Behavior
A veteran who was once even-tempered may erupt in anger without warning. One who was light-hearted may seem emotionally flat or unreachable. These shifts are not personality flaws, they are symptoms of a nervous system still operating as if in a war zone.
Warning signs to watch for:
- Unprovoked anger, rage, or verbal outbursts
- Emotional numbness, inability to feel joy, love, or connection
- Impulsive or reckless behavior (driving, spending, risk-taking)
- Dramatic shifts in mood within a short period of time
- Heightened startle response to sounds, crowds, or sudden movement
Hypervigilance is the constant scanning of environments for threats, it is a hallmark of PTSD and does not simply "turn off" when a veteran comes home. Behind the anger or numbness is often a person in tremendous pain, desperate for relief but unsure how to ask for it.
SIGN 3
Increased Substance Use or Risky Behavior
When the mind cannot find peace, it seeks escape. Alcohol, prescription drugs, gambling, and reckless activity become ways to silence memories, dull emotional pain, or simply feel something after long stretches of numbness.
Warning signs to watch for:
- Drinking heavily, especially alone or to fall asleep
- Misusing prescription medications or seeking new prescriptions frequently
- Increased use of ma*****na or other substances
- Sudden financial problems linked to gambling, spending, or poor decisions
- Thrill-seeking behavior that puts themselves or others at risk, snickers at the thought of being careful.
Veterans are statistically more likely to struggle with substance use disorders than the general population, and these behaviors are almost never about moral failure. They are coping mechanisms that are imperfect, destructive ones, from someone trying to survive pain they have not yet been given the tools to process.
SIGN 4
Sleep Disturbances and Chronic Physical Complaints
The body keeps the score. Long after combat ends, the body of a veteran may still be running on high alert. Sleep is one of the first casualties, and with it goes physical health, emotional regulation, and the will to engage with daily life.
Warning signs to watch for:
- Nightmares or night terrors, often combat-related
- Insomnia, the inability to fall or stay asleep
- Sleeping too much as a form of avoidance or depression
- Frequent, unexplained headaches, back pain, or gastrointestinal issues
- Fatigue that rest does not seem to fix
Chronic sleep deprivation is both a symptom and an accelerator of mental health decline. Veterans suffering from PTSD, Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), or depression often report years of disrupted sleep before they recognize or admit they need help. Physical complaints that lack a clear medical cause should be taken seriously as possible manifestations of psychological distress.
SIGN 5
Expressions of Hopelessness, Worthlessness, or Suicidal Ideation
This is the most urgent sign. When a veteran begins to speak, even in passing, even in dark humor about having no reason to live, about being a burden to others, or about wishing they had not come home, these words must be taken seriously every single time.
Warning signs to watch for:
- Statements like "everyone would be better off without me"
- Giving away prized possessions, especially military gear or meaningful items
- Saying goodbye in ways that feel final or out of context
- Researching or talking about methods of self-harm
- A sudden, unexplained calm after a period of deep depression
Note: The veteran may only display one of the samples above to be in dire straights.
The Veterans Crisis Line reports that approximately 17 veterans die by su***de every single day in the United States.
The greatest myth surrounding this crisis is the belief that asking someone if they are thinking about su***de will "put the idea in their head."
Research consistently shows the opposite, asking opens a door and communicates that someone cares enough to ask the hard question.
HOW TO HELP: A GUIDE FOR THOSE WHO CARE
You do not need to be a trained therapist to help a veteran who is struggling. You need to be present, patient, and willing to show up, sometimes in silence, sometimes in action. Here is where to start:
1. Show Up Without an Agenda: You do not need the right words. You need to be there. A phone call, a visit, a text that says "I'm thinking about you"; these acts carry more weight than most people realize. Do not wait for the veteran to reach out first.
2. Listen More Than You Talk: When a veteran does open up, resist the urge to fix, compare, or minimize. Do not say "I know how you feel" or "at least you made it home." Instead, say "Tell me more" or "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." Listening is an act of profound respect.
3. Ask the Hard Question Directly: If you believe a veteran may be suicidal, ask plainly: "Are you thinking about ending your life?" Asking will not create the thought, it may save a life. If the answer is yes, stay with them and help connect them to crisis support immediately.
4. Connect Them to Resources, But Walk with Them: Do not simply hand someone a phone number and walk away. Offer to make the call together, to drive them to an appointment, to sit in the waiting room. The gap between a veteran knowing help exists and actually seeking it is often crossed only when someone walks alongside them through it.
5. Respect Their Service While Acknowledging Their Pain: A veteran's struggle does not erase their courage. You can honor both. Saying "What you did mattered, and what you're going through now matters too", affirms their identity while making space for their humanity.
6. Take Care of Yourself: Supporting a struggling veteran can be emotionally exhausting. Seek your own support, set healthy boundaries, and understand that you cannot pour from an empty vessel. Your wellbeing matters in this mission too.
CRISIS RESOURCES
Veterans Crisis Line: Call or text 988, then press 1
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741
VA Mental Health: 1-800-827-1000 | www.va.gov/mental-health
Give an Hour: Free mental health care for veterans and families | giveanhour.org
“The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it."
~U.S. Army General Norman Schwarzkopf
