03/23/2026
An Apology, A Promise, An Explanation, and A Request
This will be a long update, but I’m grieving and working through some things, and journaling is helpful. I appreciate you all and your interest in this old home and property. Springtime always brings a time of renewal and growth, and I hope this year it is no different.
First- An apology. I have not done a good job lately keeping the farmhouse exterior and landscaping tidy. I do feel strongly about having a sense of pride in not only the ownership and stewardship of it, but in the social contract of maintaining it for the betterment of the community and long-term health of the property. My goal has always been to leave this place better than I found it, and I haven’t been doing well to present that outwardly. It has been noticed and the core criticism is fair. Overall, it’s been in a slow decline over the past six years.
Next- A promise. I will do better, in the near term for certain and in the long term to the best of my abilities as a single person who lives here either alone or with an adult child with disabilities year-round. I’ve lived in and promoted the betterment of this community for 22 years. My goal is to stay as long as I am able, and do the best I can for the long-term endurance of The Old Mosher Farmhouse. As you may know, the stacked-stone foundation was laid over 190 years ago. The house itself has weathered many changes within and without since 1882. I will double-down on my stewardship to make it not only a home for me, but something the community can appreciate as time moves on beyond each of us.
Third- An explanation. I want to preface this with a very clear and earnest declaration, and the one thing I want you know coming out of this post: I do NOT want or need any amount of labor, money, or pity from anyone. I am only asking for one thing, and that will be listed as the fourth item below. I want you all to know that I have a solid sense of the blessings and privileges I have been given in this life. And I certainly feel a sense of shame when I let myself and my community down in light of what I know I am capable of. There are many old bits of wisdom about not knowing what others are going through, walking in another man’s shoes, hidden struggles, etc… but I am not a victim, and I don’t want to portray myself as one, even implicitly. I am a product of choices, chance, genetics, environment, and time. That being said, I feel as though I need to acknowledge openly—even if only to myself to really accept it—I am struggling. I am generally alone, largely by choice. I have a fairly demanding day job that I am thankful for, to be able to support my family, my community and my home. I am also a middle-aged man now and have been struggling not only with the usual aches and pains that come with age, but another medical condition that requires medication that limits my mobility and endurance considerably. I have always struggled with ADHD and focus issues – I am very easily distracted from tasks by other tasks. I’ve learned how to leverage and cope to do well at my job, but my only accountability on home tasks has been myself, so back to point two, the promise: I resolve to do better. The house is also always throwing me curve balls- roof leaks, radon, plumbing, pest / animal damage, failed appliances, worn fixtures, continuous ground settling (those with homes on The Ridge know all about this). This is normal for everyone who owns a home, but owning a 140yo home adds a level to it that goes beyond. I am fortunate and thankful to be able to do much myself, minimizing the very expensive costs of external labor… but I am somewhat limited by time. My child had a fall and snapped her femur at the start of last summer; I spent the better part of three months caring for them and in and out of hospitals and rehab- it felt like I lost a lot of momentum on doing projects well and went instead to triage mode as a parent and a homeowner. The results were clearly visible by autumn. Then as we all saw, the winter was long, cold and unrelenting. I’ve also chosen to try to spend a little more time with both my sets of parents as they live out their retirements. Again, I’m not a victim, but I’m definitely in a moment in my life where I’m not keeping up as well as I expect from myself and my community expects of me, which led to some very aggressive public feedback recently demanding I improve the immediate curb appeal of the house. Which leads me to the final item…
A request. What I am asking for is simply: Grace.
Grace. Granting me the slightest bit of patience and empathy while I sort out my life and refocus my priorities and do the work. Give me an opportunity to acknowledge my shortcomings and make them right. The way this feedback came to me was the sort of unhinged, antisocial rant that seems more common today thanks to social media. A person commented publicly on an unrelated matter Saturday, repeatedly demanding that I clean up my disgrace of a property. The feedback is taken but the method is absolutely NOT to be normalized. If you believe the best way to help people do better is to use your own name in front of thousands of people to scream at a neighbor that they’re terrible? In my grandfather’s time, someone’s name and reputation meant something. Times have changed, but we must still maintain some degree of civility if we are to succeed as a society. Talk to your neighbors. Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. BE A HELPER. I barely know the person who said these things, but yet it resulted in multiple people openly WALKING TO MY PROPERTY TO TALK AND POINT the following day. The cruelest part to me, which they could not have known when they posted what they did, was that I had literally just arrived home from discussing memorial arrangements with my parents for my younger brother, who passed away suddenly over the weekend. It was just a bad day and time for something so comparatively trivial to be thrown at me, let alone in the way that it was presented. Again, no pity on me – we are all going through things; because of the internet we now know that everyone may be struggling with grief, loss, financial issues, legal issues, problems as parents, as siblings, as children, maybe at work or whatever. I believe I do my best to acknowledge others’ struggles and try to give grace first. I try to “be curious, not judgemental.” But I won’t sit quietly and let my community normalize these sorts of outbursts. We deserve better and should demand better from ourselves and each other. I will try to give grace whenever I can. I want to ask if you would also.
I look forward to sharing happier updates and photos soon. Thank you all, and may your burdens be light.
-Roger Tetzlaff
Owner, Curator and Caretaker
