10/31/2025
A HAPPY HALLOWEEN GREETING FROM DEAD CAT ALLEY!
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‘TWAS THE EVE BEFORE HALLOWS
By the Gatekeeper of Dead Cat Alley
© MMIV
‘Twas the eve before Hallows, and all through the home
Not a monster was stirring, not even a gnome.
The jack-o’-lanterns were set on the doorstep with care,
In hopes that trick-or-treaters soon would be there;
The children were dressed in their Halloween threads,
While visions of Gummi Bears danced in their heads.
And mummy in her wrappings, and I in my cape,
Were fixing our costumes with wire and tape.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I ran to the door to see what was the matter.
From the porch I could see it was Catwoman and Flash,
Frankenstein, Werewolf and a zombie with a gash.
The moon cast a light on the new-fallen leaves,
Orange twinkling lights hung from the eaves.
When, what to my blackened eyes should appear,
But Hansel and Gretel and Yoda wiggling each ear,
With a hobo, a hobbit, and a witch on her broomstick,
I knew the Great Pumpkin was up to this trick.
More rapid than ravens, the treaters they came,
They screamed and they howled, calling candy by name;
“Now, Milk Duds!, now, Big Hunk! now, Look Bar and Milky Way!
Oh Henry! oh Snickers! oh Clark Bar and Pay Day!
From the wicked witch’s pot into my Halloween sack,
M&Ms and Kit Kat make a great midnight snack!”
With the shriek of flying monkeys, whilst wild dogs bark,
We slipped in the house and hid in the dark.
So up the pathway the trick-or-treaters blew
With their sacks full of treats, Jack Skellington too.
And then, in a ringing, I heard from our doorbell
cackles, chains and shackles – a wizard’s spell.
As I drew toward the door and was turning the k**b,
In burst the creatures like a sugar-crazed mob.
They were dressed all in fright, from their horns to their claws,
And their costumes were tattered, some wrapped in gauze.
Bags of candy they clenched with the tightest of grips,
They looked like Oompa Loompas with chocolate on their lips.
Their eyes – how hypnotizing! Their teeth – how scary!
Some were just funny, and some were just hairy.
Then, with sticky little fingers and frost bitten feet,
Altogether they yelled, “TRICK OR TREAT!”
The cauldron I clutched with my vampire knuckles
Held Lifesavers, SweeTarts, JujyFruit and Chuckles.
We had a basketful of Chicklets, Chick-O-Stix and Zotz
and a bowlful of Jelly Bellies, Skittles and Dots.
The ghosts, the ghoulies, the faeries, the elves,
Were all full of smiles, in spite of themselves.
With a wink of my bloodshot eye I pretended to dread
giving Tootsie Roll, Abba Zabba and Lemonhead.
I spoke not a word, but went straight to my chore,
And filled all the bags with Whoppers and Skor.
In went the Butterfingers, Bazookas and Twix,
Sugar Daddy, Bit-O-Honey, StarBurst, Pixie Stix.
Their sacks spilled over, indeed I filled them well,
And away they all flew like a bat out of you-know-where.
But I heard those monsters scream as they raced from my sight,
“HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD FRIGHT!”
