09/24/2026
‼️ATTENTION‼️
Attention, Klawock:
The bears have officially entered their “I Do What I Want” season.
Reports indicate they are:
• Casually wandering through yards like they’re shopping for real estate
• Rating your garbage can security on a scale from “Nice Try” to “LOL”
• Treating bird feeders like drive thru milkshakes
• Ignoring every posted sign, including “NO BEARS,” “PRIVATE PROPERTY,” and “ABSOLUTELY NOT”
If you encounter a bear, please remember:
• Give it space. Like… Alaska sized space.
• Bring pets and children inside before the bear decides to start a neighborhood talent show.
• Do NOT attempt to reason with it. Bears do not negotiate, they simply vibe. Making a lot of noise will usually drive them away though.
Secure garbage, pet food, bird feeders, and anything else a bear might classify as “free samples.”
If you see concerning bear behavior, report it — especially if the bear looks like it’s about to file a homestead claim.
Stay safe, stay bear aware, and remember: if a bear is in your yard, you are no longer in charge of your yard.